One Year of Half-Wit Lit …. and a Bonus Blog Entry

OK HWL fans – it’s been a year of blogging and during that time Askimet has protected me from just short of 1,100 spam comments.

Other than that not much happened.

I reviewed my stats and the most popular post of the year was my “Dating for the Single Writer” post (you can see it here) Followed closely by my “Rock Bottom: The Online Dating Post” (you can see that one here). This is newsworthy because I started this blog to support my literary efforts and all anyone is actually interested is in what can charitably be described as “prurience”.

Oddly, my “Wherein I Describe the Difference Between Fiction, Non-Fiction, and Poetry” was my 3rd most popular blog entry. You are a high-minded group … when you’re not pervin’. I did not hyper-link to that – Y’all exercise your brain muscles and look it up if you need to.

WordPress actually shows you search terms that lead people to your blog – one of my faves was “How to make a nice dating profile”. It warmed the cockles of my heart – maybe even the sub-cockles – to think of that poor person stumbling on to “Rock Bottom” via that google search.

But rather than say “F*ck You I’m closing my blog and going home” (i.e. “rage-quitting” as the kids call it these days) I’m going to throw in a bonus clip – an item originally edited out of my “Rock Bottom” post – the top 5 dating profile headlines rejected by the censors at dating sites I’ve used.

Top 5 Rejected Dating Profile Headlines:

  1. Foot Perv Seeks Hairy Gal!
  2. Help! Just Killed a Guy and Need A Place to Lie Low!
  3. Anal? Just Thought I’d Throw That Out There LOL … But No, Seriously … Anal?
  4. I Might Not Be What You Want But I am Better Than What You Deserve – Think About That One For a While
  5. Just Shoot me. I Beg You.

You think about how many times those lines have had to have been used in order to attract the ban-stick and it says something … about human nature. Something profound.

My bold prediction is that the rallying cry of women everywhere who are covered in 10-foot pole marks and the smudges of the burnt bridges and fiery train wrecks they’ve left in their wake that goes “If You Can’t Handle Me At My Worst You Don’t Deserve Me At My Best” – will be banned by next year. Seriously, that’s like a murderer saying “I’m a murderer – it’s allowed” as a defense. I see that “Handle me at My Worst” on those e-card things that plague Facebook – usually followed by similar cards that proclaim the complimentary virtues of wine imbibed alone and a passive-aggressive brand of assholery.

But I digress.

I want to thank each and every one of you who stopped by, commented, and otherwise made it a fun year.

Here’s lookin’ at you, kids!

Steve!

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