Colonel Mustard, In the Conservatory …

 … with a pipe wrench.

Why the pipe wrench?

1) Satisfaction. As everyone knows – trust me on this one – nothing feels quite so good as swinging something heavy right through something. Like it’s not even there. HOMERUN!

2) Noise: The revolver would be too loud. I’m assuming Mustard would have one of those old British Navy Webleys which are not too far removed from 18th century naval cannons mounted on 4 wheels. If Mustard had used the Webley … you’d know. 

Anyways – that’s my gut feeling on this one. Y’all can take it or leave it.



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