In no particular order:
- You have “Man hands”
- Just how many dogs do you own? Can you get along with people? Don’t answer – it’s a rhetorical question. I already know the answer.
- You have a mean face, possibly because of/compounded with “Crazy Eyes”
- You look like an Ex of mine
- You are an Ex of mine
- Pic is not a selfie … which means it must be 5 years old meaning you’ve doubled in size since then in real life
- You look like my cousin
- You are my cousin
- You’re a dude – no judgement, but you are on the wrong side of the app, buddy
Bonus Round: I saw you on two other dating sites 4 years ago, and although I’m on/off these things as needs be I’m pretty sure you have been on the whole time.
There ya go blog readers. Remember: Hail Satan, drink coffee.
I’ll return shortly, like a Velvet Elvis that get’s “re-gifted” through the family every Christmas.