OK Pendejos, apropos of nothing here are ten reasons not to write, in no particular order:
- It doesn’t matter if you write today or not because your stuff is shit.
- Half of all submissions are rejected unread
- Three-quarters of all pieces published are never read.
- There are now 2,000 writers for every one reader. (i.e. Fatal Supply/Demand Error)
- That kind, “personal” rejection letter you got? It’s a form letter. Just a better macro.
- That kind, “personal” rejection letter you got? It’s the editor’s last. They quit right after they sent it. They can’t take it anymore either. “Fuck My Life” they said, then went back to a 2-year college for something in IT.
- Most of the writers you admire and look up to … ain’t getting paid either.
- Seriously, if writing is not the primary source of income in your household you should just quit and get a real job.
- If you have a “real job” you should not write. You should go to the gym because you look like shit from hunching over and staring at that screen for four hours adding/removing commas.
- There is no “conspiracy” dude, your stuff is just not that good.
Read that! Wow! I am am particularly bastardly tonight!
I wonder what raccoon tastes like.
Mind you, I wonder what Panda tastes like. C’mon, I can’t be the only one.
At any rate, read and enjoy, I’ll be back with more of my hero-gets-the-girl/puppy-licks-the-face brand of joy in awhile.