When writing erotica, please avoid using the following phrases/euphemisms/terminology by all means necessary:
- Like a screen door in a hurricane
- Baloney Pony
- Banged the shit out of
- Strange burning sensation
- Prayer Group
- Expresso (‘Espresso’ is fine)
- Eight minutes of furious mediocrity
- Squish Biscuit
- For King and Country!
- The smell of fear
- Republican Primary
- Drum Circle
- Anything that rhymes with “Rumpelstiltskin”
- Pork ninja
- Fat as fuck
Seriously – don’t write these or it’ll kill your shit. Your story becomes very put down-able.
If you can think of any others post ’em up in the comments.
Rock on compadres, I shall return to throw some horns and rock out in the very near future, after I finish rocking out and throwing some horns,