Phrases You Should Avoid When Writing Erotica

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When writing erotica, please avoid using the following phrases/euphemisms/terminology by all means necessary:

  • Like a screen door in a hurricane
  • Baloney Pony
  • Banged the shit out of
  • Strange burning sensation
  • Humping
  • Prayer Group
  • Glissade
  • Expresso (‘Espresso’ is fine)
  • Eight minutes of furious mediocrity
  • Squish Biscuit
  • Journaling
  • For King and Country!
  • Stump
  • The smell of fear
  • Frenetic
  • Republican Primary
  • Uphill
  • Drum Circle
  • Downhill
  • Rumpelstiltskin
  • Anything that rhymes with “Rumpelstiltskin”
  • Smidgen
  • Pork ninja
  • Octopus
  • Porked
  • Country-style
  • Blog
  • Fat as fuck

Seriously – don’t write these or it’ll kill your shit. Your story becomes very put down-able.

If you can think of any others post ’em up in the comments.

Rock on compadres, I shall return to throw some horns and rock out in the very near future, after I finish rocking out and throwing some horns,

Steve

 

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