Your Daily Horoscope, by Hillbilly Hare

Hillbilly Hare

The greatest cartoon of all time – OF ALL TIME – came out on August 12, 1950. As August 12th is a Saturday and posting anything on a blog on a weekend guarantees that it won’t be read I’m posting this here, now, and calling it an anniversary celebration for that most august of hand-painted animation cel achievements.

I’d cooked this up a couple of days ago and submitted it to a very well-known humor website (“humour” if you prefer) and it was rejected – the editor professed to love it but was worried that the source materiel would be too obscure for a modern audience.

He is probably right – but I like it no matter what.  Now bow to your partner …

Your Daily Horoscope, by Hillbilly Hare


Three hands up and round you go, break it up with a dosey do. Chicken in the bread pan kicking out dough. Skip to the Lou my darling.


The old lady out, you pretty little thing, promenade around the ring. Big foot up and little foot down, make that big foot jar the ground.


Lady step back and two gents in, back you go and forward again. Step right up with an elbow swing.


Allemande left with the old left hand; follow through with a right-left grand. Meet your honey with a great big smile.


Promenade across the floor. Sashay right on out the door. Out of the door and into the glade. Everybody promenade.


 Step right up, you’re doing fine. You pull their beard they’ll pull thine. Yank it again like you did before, and then break it up with a tug o’ war.


Get into the brook and fish for the trout. Dive right in and splash about. Trout, trout, pretty little trout. One more splash then come right out.


Shake like a hound dog, shake again. Wallow around in the ol’ pig pen. Wallow some more, y’all know how. Roll around like an ol’ fat sow.


Allemande left with your left hand. Follow through with a right-left grand. Leave your partner, the dirty ol’ thing. Follow through with an elbow swing.


Grab a fence post, hold it tight. Womp your partner with all your might. Hit him in the chin. Hit him in the head. Hit him again, that critter ain’t dead.


Womp him low and womp him high. Stick your finger in his eye. Pretty little rhythm, pretty little sound, bang your head against the ground.


Whirl, whirl, twist and twirl. Jump around like a flying squirrel. Don’t you cuss and don’t you swear. Just come out and form a square

There it is – your daily horoscope, by Hillbilly Hare.

Stay cool readers reader – I’ll be back soon enough. You know, in a sad attempt to keep my blog alive I was considering telling the story about how I ordered a large black coffee at the McDonald’s inside of the Walmart here the other day but they were out of large cups so they gave me an extra-large at no additional charge – a 25-cent savings to me – but then I thought about the Hillbilly Hare piece.

Hare-piece. Say it fast.

That’s awesome.

Think of this is your 25-cents!







4 thoughts on “Your Daily Horoscope, by Hillbilly Hare

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